By DJ Ricardo, Ridge Radio
On Tuesday, 18 February I hosted another in my series of Music & Chat shows on Ridge Radio. Previous participants have included Shaun Wallace, AKA The Dark Destroyer from The Chase.
This time, I had the pleasure of speaking with Sean, a coordinator from AndysManClub.
The charity was set up eight years ago after Andy Roberts, aged only 23, took his own life. Suicide is one of the biggest killers of men under 50: 12 men per day in England and Wales kill themselves, most of them suffering with underlying mental health issues.
Andy’s mother Elaine and brother-in-law Luke Ambler set up AndysManClub to help prevent other families going through the devastation of losing a person they loved through suicide. They wanted to create a safe, judgement-free space where men could get their troubles off their chest – the club’s strapline is ‘It’s okay to talk’. There are now more than 240 AndysManClubs running across England and Scotland, all run by volunteers.
My talk with Sean was interspersed with songs that included lyrics which mean a great deal to the groups’ members, such as Leave a Light On by Tom Walker:
‘If you look into the distance, there’s a house upon the hillGuidin’ like a lighthouse to a place where you’ll be
Safe to feel our grace ’cause we’ve all made mistakes
If you’ve lost your way’
Sean discussed the possible reasons as to why suicide rates are so high among men. While women are adept at forming social networks where they can openly discuss their issues in a supportive environment, men often feel that they shouldn’t cry but just get on with it, stiff upper lip, chest out etc. They are more likely to bottle up their emotions and feelings, which can then explode like a volcano. Obviously times are changing in this regard, but there is still a prevailing view that men should be ‘men’ and not show vulnerability.
This is precisely why AndysManClub is needed. Groups meet on a Monday because, statistically, that is the day when most suicides take place. Everything that is spoken about inside the group is confidential, which enables free speaking, and there is no judgement from others. There are rules about the topics covered, such as no politics or religion, and in Scotland there’s no sports chat, either.
The groups meet every Monday, except bank holidays, from 19:00 – 21:00. There’s no fee to be a member, and the groups provide free hot drinks and biscuits.
A new AndysManClub group began at The Old Caterhamians RFC Club in Caterham on Monday, 24 February. For more information, or to find another group, visit andysmanclub.co.uk.
