Farmer Patrick says – July 2024 – Tandridge Independent

Another month has gone by again. When I was young my father used to say to me, ‘as you get older, son, you’ll find time speeds up. Days go quicker. Then weeks start to fly by, then months, then years.’ Stupid old fool, I thought! Now, as I get older, he seems to have gotten wiser in my memory.

The weather is still not great at the moment, but farmers are obviously never happy with the weather. Still, it’s our right not to be happy with it because it affects everything we do! Weather affects us all in different ways.

If you’re a fisherman and it’s too windy you can’t set sail. If it’s raining, not only do you get wet from below, but you’re getting wet from above too. And, believe it or not, the weather also affects how the fish move around. One of the many benefits of having a fishmonger at our shop every week is that I’ve had a free and informative education on fishing: everything from which fish to catch, to where and how to catch them.

Here are some examples: crabs are found in certain areas around our coastline, but when seas are rough they simply disappear! That’s because the currents you see on the surface in the form of waves are also occurring deep below, particularly near the shores. Fish may be found in one location one day, but the next you set sail, throw the net over and, low and behold, they’ve all cluttered off around the coast for a change of sea scenery, or to find the tastiest seaweed or a new shipwreck to investigate. I’d love to go down there (obviously in my yellow submarine), with Ringo Starr on my playlist while I sail beneath the waves, searching around for the missing fish.

Then there’s the Russian trawlers. I’m not a big fan of the Russians at the moment, in case you hadn’t noticed. I’ve got lots of people in my team who once lived in Ukraine. They were peacefully going about their daily lives, democratically governed, and not doing anyone any harm. Then a chap in the Kremlin decides he wants to change the colour of the map so more of it is green again. As part of this, when you watch the fisherman’s app on your phone to see which boats are out around the British coastline, you’ll notice two boats moving side by side, about 2km apart, through the English channel. This is known as drag netting. They scoop up all the fish, hammer and sickle flying from the crow’s nest, because they can! And then people like our fishmonger, low and behold, can’t find so much as a tadpole. This may sound all a bit school-boyish but it’s not far off the blunt reality.

Farmers tend to be quite political, because our political masters often use the import and export of food, and who they will and won’t trade with, as a bargaining tool on the world stage. I’m a cynic, but it seems to me that one party introduces an idea and the opposing party immediately says, ‘that won’t work’. They then put their idea forward, only for the first party to say, ‘no, that won’t work either’.

Wouldn’t it be nice if, just for once, they could at least agree that one of them had a good idea?

Whoever wins the forthcoming election has a challenge on their hands, with global uncertainty in many different forms. I was extremely pleased to see our current PM’s recent Field to Fork summit – I’d love to think it will do some good. National food security is going to be of utmost importance going forward. I read that we produce just 17% of the fruit that UK consumers eat and this looks set to drop, with more farmers being pushed out by ever-rising costs and pressure from supermarkets battling with each other at the supplier’s expense.

I also read that wool prices have dropped to just £1 per fleece. This is largely due to the rise of oil-based fibres. My advice to those people who fancy gluing themselves to the petrol pump and holding people up while they hold hands on the motorways, is to have a look at the label on your campaigning t-shirt and just check it’s made with lamb’s wool and not that dreadful word, oil.

Farming round-up

The weather has been great for grass growing, so lots of silage has been made for our cattle’s winter (watch the process on our Instagram). Our new flock of chickens should be starting to lay eggs in a fortnight or so and, believe it or not, our Christmas turkey poults will be coming in a few weeks’ time. Our shop is busy, especially with people eager to cook our finest sausages on the BBQ at the weekend.